Snapshots
by Love-in-the-Stars
Summary: A series of one-shot fics related to 30 prompts. All Gabriel/Sam, all will be completed. Challenge from LiveJournal. Rated M for safety, will be a diverse range of ratings, each fic will be labeled.
1. Wading Through the Dark

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #1: Dark  
Word Count: 621  
Spoilers: Up to the tail end of Season Five but before finale.  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Sam has always fought the darkness but he wasn't usually having to fight alone.

* * *

Even before learning of what lurked in the shadows of the world, Sam had feared the dark as any child would. It was rarely a problem though because Dean was always close and above everyone else he trusted his brother to protect him. Once he was finally told the truth, that monsters and ghosts did exist, Sam could handle it and all because he still had his big brother at his side and now he knew the proper methods to kill the things that lurked.

Then he left for Stanford and was alone, the darkness seemed much thicker then. He spent many nights awake or with half remembered and fitful dreams. After meeting Jessica, his dreams returned to normal, not counting his demon related premonitions. Then he lost her and got his brother back in return. He was naturally delighted to be with Dean again but now he harbored a hatred for the creatures of the night to rival his father's. But just like when they were little, it was alright because Dean was right there with him, all the way.

Until suddenly he wasn't and Sam was alone again.

The darkness he so despised consumed him in a whirlwind of pain, loss, desperation and rage. With Ruby by his side Sam slept like the dead and dreamed of blood and regret.

By the time Dean was returned to him, Sam was too far gone in the darkness to ever make it back. Or so the angels believed. His dreams then were few and far between.

Then he released Lucifer from his prison and even Dean began to believe as the angels did. With the loss of the only support in his life, Sam too believed his failings as truth. The darkness was always with him now, under his skin, in his blood, and choking his heart. He dreamed of pretty promises and rotted flesh.

Then came the angel he had the most in common with, and no matter what Lucifer tried to say it would never be the Morning Star. No, the one he was drawn to the most is also one of those who had hurt him the most.

Gabriel.

The Archangel with the biting wit and darkened humor. Who ran away from his family because everything had been falling apart and he couldn't stand the pain of watching it happen. Who was an angel in all the ways that mattered; truthful, righteous and just as damaged as Sam.

What the angel had seen in him, Sam still doesn't know but Gabriel had gotten it into his head that he wanted Sam and if that meant joining Team Free Will; then so be it. Whether or not they even wanted his help didn't seem to matter because once Gabriel wants something, he goes after it like a dog with a bone. No matter what Sam did or said, Gabriel never stopped, never gave up and Sam found himself overwhelmed. The things Gabriel did for him, some of which were so small and unimportant that Sam didn't even think Gabriel was aware of it, were things no one had ever bothered with before. In the end, it was those very same little things that finally won him over and for the first time in so very long his decision to be with Gabriel was one thing he could never regret.

Curling up with Gabriel at the end of every day brought him such comfort and even if he didn't deserve it, Sam was sick of being alone. And whenever the darkness started to creep in again, Gabriel was there to push it back with chocolate kisses and candy hugs. As long as Gabriel watched over him, Sam dreamed of sunlight.


	2. Nose of a Puppy

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #2: Smell  
Word Count: 1,298  
Spoilers: Any time after 'Changing Channels' I guess.  
Warnings: Puppy!Sam, Jealous!Gabriel  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: Dean angers a witch and so she casts a spell on Sam, turning him into an adorable puppy. Gabriel gets jealous to find him snuggling with Castiel.

* * *

Sam has always known that the hotels they stayed in were not exactly anything out of the Hilton but this was ridiculous. His poor nose can't handle the unsavory scents and shoving his snout into the bed covers only presents him with the heavy scent of sex.

Sam gave a high pitched whine and withdrew only to throw his heavy chocolate furred paws over his nose. Dean is across the room arguing with someone on the phone and ignores Sam's pitiful plea but the soft flutter of air tells him that Castiel had heard.

A firm, powerful pair of hands haul Sam up off the bed and he is cuddled into Castiel's arms. The angel smells so much better then the rest of the room that Sam can't help his sigh.

_What is the matter, Sam? _Castiel's modified true voice whispers across his mind and Sam tilts his head back to stare soulfully into the angel's blue eyes.

_It smells so terrible in here.  
_  
His suffering is met with a wrinkle of Castiel's nose and an almost smile.

_Does it always smell so bad?  
_  
_Not always._ Is Castiel's vaguely amused response._ Your current state has heightened your sense of smell and thus you can now experience the more unpleasant scents._Sam gives another whimper and shoves his face into Castiel's coat, almost under his arm. The angel smells of fresh air and sunshine and it's so much better. _I don't want to be a dog anymore.  
_  
Castiel's hand slides down his back. _You are actually a puppy, Sam.  
_  
Sam's thumping tail stalls. _That's not helping, Cas._And this time, Sam can hear the grin mixed in Cas' voice in his head.

_My apologies._

_It's alright. This isn't your fault. It's not your fault Dean's an idiot._

_Indeed._

"Alright, so Bobby doesn't know what kind of spell that witch bitch used but he'll look into it." Dean's voice filters to Sam's real ears and he sounds annoyed but that fades as he continues. "How's Sammy holding up?"

"His current sense of smell is irritated by this room." Is Castiel's spoken response.

"And you've got him in your coat why?"

Sam mentally groans because Dean's being a possessive idiot over his angel again but he's so sick of Dean getting him into these situations that he doesn't even bother to ease his brother's mind.

_Tell him I said you smell good_. Sam thinks to Castiel and the angel sends back at him an emotion of confusion but obeys.

Dean's answering growl makes Sam wish he were human again just so he could smirk. "Well, have you at least gotten a hold of Gabriel yet?"

Sam literally perks up and squirms out of the coat to look hopefully up at Castiel. Gabriel, he knows can fix this. Before Castiel can even answer the room fills with another scent, one he would recognize even without his advanced nose.

It is the scent of chocolate mixed with earth.

"How's it hanging, bitches?"

It's Gabriel and Sam's tail starts thumping overtime. Thinking he's nervous, Castiel continues stroking his fur and it's Sam's new instinctive reaction to settle in his arms with a satisfied sigh.

Gabriel casts an eye around the room, taking in Dean's aggravated, stormy expression and Castiel's vaguely puzzled but rather content stance. He'd heard Castiel's call that some witch had gotten to Sam but the other angel never gave him any details. And now he doesn't see Sam at all. Oh, if they'd lost him somewhere...

His thoughts trail off as he ignores Dean's blusterous and snarled greeting and instead narrows all his attention on the small ball of brown fur snuggled in Castiel's arms. "Is that Sam?" Gabriel can hear himself sound incredulous and can't even be bothered to feel unsettled by the slip.

"Of course." Castiel replies serenely, as if to say 'who else could it be?'

As he walks closer to Castiel, Gabriel sends out a thought to the puppy. _Sam? That you?  
_The thought becomes redundant even before Sam responds because now that he's close enough he can see the shiny familiar soul within that furry body.

_Gabriel?  
_  
Sam's voice comes back to him, sounding the same as always but a little dulled, as if he's half asleep. That's when Gabriel realizes that Castiel is slowly stroking him and if Sam were a cat rather then a dog, he would be purring. A wave of jealousy washes over him and reverberates through his bond with Sam, which causes Sam to rise back to awareness.

_Gabriel?_ He whispers again, this time through their bond rather then through animal-angel communication.

_It's alright, Sammy. I can fix you.  
_  
"Hand him over, Cas." Gabriel says, almost on this side of rude and if he was expecting a fight he didn't get one.

Castiel merely raises an eyebrow, gives him a long knowing look and carefully passes Sam into Gabriel's smaller but just as strong and capable hands.

Sam's whole body wiggles with the force of his tail wagging and Gabriel can't help but smile as his puppy sets about licking his face happily.

Dean wrinkles his nose, although he's grinning slightly. "Gross."

"You're just jealous you don't have a puppy Sam to hug." Gabriel shoots back, smirking at Dean's dark muttering. "Alright, Sammy. Let's get you back to all your six foot something glory, yeah?"

His answer is a pair of hazel puppy eyes gazing soulfully into his own ambers. It's a touching, heart melting sight that is somehow just as effective as Sam's own puppy faced expressions. He barely prevents the coo and instead holds out a hand to snap with. He puts his Grace to work in that instant, seeking out the elemental chains of the witches spell and shattering them.

In the next instant he is sent crashing to the ground with a naked Winchester sprawled over him.

Dean releases what can only be called a squeal and shoots for the door, yelling about his eyes and brain bleach as he flees. Castiel wisely follows with the sound of feathers.

Gabriel huffs out a breath he doesn't need and runs a hand up Sam's bare spine. "You alright, Sammy?"

Sam gives a full body wiggle, clearly testing out limbs and Gabriel moans at the friction across his body. The sound stills Sam and he looks up at Gabriel through tangled bangs. "I'm good." He mutters, giving an absent sniff and then leaning down to press his face to Gabriel's neck, inhaling heavily.

The hum of appreciation Sam makes causes the Archangel to smile in puzzlement. "What are you doing Sammy?"

"Smelling you."

Gabriel snorts. "I can see that. Why?"

"It's just, you smelled so much better then this disgusting place, still do. Even better then Cas."

"What about Cas?"

Sam blinks at Gabriel's almost growl and frowns at him. "He was holding me so that I could smell him and not everything this room stank of. Seriously, I don't know how dogs can handle such powerful noses."

"So, you like how Castiel smells, huh?"

"Well, yeah but..." Sam pauses to sniff again and mouth the skin of Gabriel's neck. "...he's got nothing on you. You smell like chocolate and...something earthy. I really like it."

Gabriel shivered and slid both hands down to grab Sam's ass. "Yeah?"

Sam hums agreement and squirms against him, leaning slightly back to yawn in the angel's face. Gabriel snickers and frees a hand to snap them into the bed. "Go to sleep, Sam. That spell drained you."

"M'kay." Sam snuggles down close next to Gabriel then paused. "Uh, could you change the sheets, please?"

Gabriel blinks, puzzled but snaps anyway.

Sam smiles, presses a sweet kiss to his mouth and promptly passes out, leaving Gabriel to shrug and cuddle around his Sasquatch puppy.


	3. Hand of Ownership

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #3: Touch  
Word Count: 1,769  
Spoilers: Nada, just need to know what Gabe and Cas are.  
Warnings: Language  
Rating: NC-17 (for language)  
Summary: Sam is uncomforable with how much Gabriel touches him in public and makes him doubt things he shouldn't.

* * *

The thing with Gabriel is that he's very...handsy. _Not _that Sam'scomplaining because Gabriel has a very nice touch. It's just...the angel likes to touch him a little too much in public. And Sam's not talking about kissing or hugging or holding hands because believe it or not, Gabriel's not too into that kind of affection. What he means is that Gabriel full on gropes him and it's humiliating but whenever he tries to ask the angel to stop Gabriel just leers and makes some kind of lewd joke to brush him off. As always there is only so much Sam can take before something snaps.

XxXxXxXx

They're at a diner when it happens and up until then Sam had been as patient with Gabriel as he could be, doing his best to ignore the hand high on his thigh. Dean and Castiel are seated across from them in the booth. Castiel is staring intently at the menu, still overwhelmed by the choices he has to make, when Dean casually reaches over and grips Castiel's free hand loosely while staring out the window. It's a simple, non-obvious movement that Sam almost misses but Castiel's sudden soft smile gives them away. In that moment the jealousy he feels toward his brother and the angel has never been stronger because as much as he loves Gabriel, and he does, they don't seem capable of the same easy relationship. And it hurts. It hurts because Gabriel only ever seems to act like what they have is just really good sex, all the time.

Gabriel must sense that something is off because the archangel shifts beside Sam and looks about to speak when the waitress appears by their table with a cheerful greeting. Dean turns to her and gives a normal, non-flirtatious smile, completely unconcerned with how his hand is still clasped with Castiel's.

"Hey." he says, "I'll have a bacon cheese burger with fries and a coke. You know what you want, Cas?"

Castiel nods and closes the menu, giving the waitress his serious angel face. "I would like to try the fish and chips, please."

The waitress nods without looking up. "What would you like to drink?"

The angel blinks slowly, clearly having not thought that far ahead.

"Just get him a coke, too please." Dean says with a fond smirk. The woman returns his smile then looks to Sam, her eyes a pretty shade of blue.

"I'll take a caeser salad and a pepsi, thanks." He gives her a lopsided smile, his mind a little removed from the actual conversation as he dwells on his relationship. He doesn't notice the way her eyes light up at his expression and he doesn't realize that she's somewhat interested. He does notice when Gabriel shoves himself even further into Sam's space to lean over him and leer at the waitress while his hand rests heavily on Sam's crotch. Sam grunts and gives the back of Gabriel's head a bitchface.

The angel ignores him to ask for a chocolate milkshake, which the woman nods to with wide eyes and an almost blush as she can clearly see where Gabriel's hand is. She hurries away with a stutter and Sam watches her go, bewildered and not a little pissed off.

"What the fuck was that?" Sam hisses and shoves at Gabriel until the angel allows himself to be moved back to the side.

"What?" Gabriel says, all innocent smile and smug eyes. Across from them Dean has a brow raised and Castiel is frowning slightly.

"That was uncalled for!" He growls, trying to keep his voice down because unlike some people Sam hates making a scene.

Gabriel blinks and rolls his eyes. "Geeze, Sammy, way to be a stiff and not in the fun way." And that, that right there is what Sam hates. Because Gabriel sounds bored, like Sam is being difficult just to be a bitch and he clearly doesn't care at all that he's upset him. It's the times like this that show Sam exactly how Gabriel sees their relationship and each time hurts a little bit more.

Sam lets his shoulders drop and gives in, turning away to stare blankly across the diner. Clearly his feelings for Gabriel are a onesided affair and Sam's not sure he can let it go on like this. He's not built for casual relationships, he needs more then just sex and Gabriel can't or won't give him that.

Gabriel must feel that he's won because he snickers and tries to slide his hand back to Sam's thigh but the younger Winchester squirms out of the way. The avoidance gives Gabriel a moments pause but that's all and instead he shoves his hand into the back of Sam's jeans.

That's when Sam snaps.

It's not an obvious thing to anyone but maybe Dean. He just calmly pulls Gabriel's hand out by the wrist and gets up without a word to walk toward the bathrooms. He can practically feel the archangel's shock and catches Dean's mutter of 'Moron' to Gabriel before he's out of range.

He bypasses the bathrooms altogether and instead goes out the back doors to get some air, hoping that maybe he'll be able to fight back all the emotions drowning him. He doesn't get much of a respite though before Gabriel is standing in front of him looking a strange mix of apologetic and irritated. Gabriel opens his mouth but Sam quickly speaks first, intending to cut off whatever stupid thing will piss him off more.

"Why?"

"What?" The angel is confused, taken aback.

"Why do you always do that? We're in public for fucks sake and you can't keep it in your pants for two minutes?"

"Whoa! Sam, what the hell are you so pissed for?"

Sam sort of flails wordlessly for a moment, disbelieving that Gabriel could be so damned _blind_. "I'm not just pissed, I'm..." he pauses because he doesn't dare actually say that he's hurt. "...I'm insulted." Sam admitts, and it's still pathetic but not quite as bad.

Gabriel still doesn't look like he understands anything. "And what exactly is it your insulted over? What I did with the waitress? Because come on, this isn't the first time!"

"No! I mean yeah, that's part of it but..." Sam trails off, unable to continue and at a complete loss over what he had been trying to achieve in the first place. He can feel everything crumbling down around his head and God damn it, he just wants to kill something or sit down and cry. Either one will probably work.

"Then what the fuck Sam? Huh? Something has got you throwing a bitch fit and you might as well get it out now so we can go back inside sometime today and actually enjoy..."

"I hate it!" Sam shouts, cutting Gabriel's mini-rant off and leaving the archangel wide-eyed. "I fucking hate that I'm apparently nothing more then a piece of ass to flaunt to you!"

"What? Sam..."

"I hate that you feel like I'm just one of those sluts you snapped into existence and can showcase to the general public! I hate that it seems like our relationship is based on nothing more then sex but most of all I hate that I love you and that you don't feel the same!" He's panting by the time he gets all that out and humiliation mixes with despair in the pit of his stomach as Gabriel stares at him in open-mouthed shock.

The silence that falls between them is heavy and Sam just feels defeated. He's blown it now, he realizes and Sam takes a step back, prepares to run so that he won't have to face Gabriel's disdain over something as mundane as emotions. That one movement seems to awaken Gabriel from his momentary stupor and he takes immediate action, lunging forward to yank Sam into a hot and possessive kiss. The youngest flails for moment before melting into it, as he always does. It goes on for what feels like forever and Gabriel doesn't let him go until he aches for air, even then keeping their faces close and his hand curled over the back of Sam's neck, fingers clenching the long strands of hair there.

"I thought you were supposed to be the smart Winchester?" Gabriel says, breath puffing hot over his mouth.

Sam just blinks, panting, mind still locked in a pleasure haze.

"Idiot. Of course I love you. I wouldn't be going through all this effort to ensure that everyone knows you're mine if I didn't."

The amazed and blessed relief Sam feels at that nearly makes his knees give but instead he draws Gabriel into another, more passionate kiss as he tugs the angel as close as physically possible.

"That's it?" Sam gasps once they part again. "That's the reason you've been molesting me in public?"

Gabriel shrugs and gives a nod. "That and I just like to." He runs a hand down Sam's back. "I like to touch you."

"Me too but when you do it like that it's degrading."

"Well then, what am I supposed to do?" The archangel is pouting and Sam smiles.

"You could try just keeping it a little more subtle, right?" He reaches down to grab one of Gabriel's hands and pushes their fingers together. "This would work just as well, you know."

Gabriel wrinkles his nose but squeezes back. "I guess, not sure if it's a strong enough message though."

"I don't really get it. Why is the touching so important?"

"It shows that you're mine. You belong to me and no one else can have you."

Sam smiles and presses a kiss to the side of Gabriel's mouth. "You're odd but I get it."

"Hey, don't blame me! It has to do with what I am." The angel protests with a shrug.

"This is an angel thing?" Sam asks. "But Cas never acts this way."

"Not an angel thing, no. The possessive stuff kinda comes from the Trickster God part of me. Old habits and all that."

Sam gives a grin and silently loves how Gabriel's hand feels with his. "Okay, just try and tone it down? For me?"

"Fine!" Gabriel sighs, with a roll of his eyes but he's still holding on so Sam's going to take this as a win. "Can we go back in now? I bet Dean's already ordered his pie and I wanted to mess with his order."

"Yeah, sure. We're good."

"Damn right we are." The angel mutters, giving him one more through kiss before dragging him back inside the diner.


	4. Little Prayers

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #4: Listen  
Word Count: 516  
Spoilers: After they visit the Garden.  
Warnings: None  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Sam prays, Gabriel listens and comes to a decision.

* * *

Sam Winchester will forever be a mystery to Gabriel. The human who has been screwed over by both Heaven and Hell more then anyone else on the planet, is still somehow a believer.

He prays. And Gabriel listens.

Every night and sometimes randomly throughout the day. He prays for big things, the apocalypse is looming ever closer, and he prays for little things, that it won't rain so they can finally torch the bones of a murderous little girl. He even prays that Castiel won't Fall any further because Dean's in love with the littlest angel and Sam doesn't want to see the pain on their faces. One thing he never prays for is his own life. He never asks for anything for himself and he never prays for salvation or forgiveness because he knows he'll never get it. He knows his life is forfeit and seems to have accepted that with the kind of peace that Gabriel's never seen in any human, in all his years as both Messenger and Trickster.

Listening to Sam's prayers make Gabriel feel things he hasn't in longer then he can rightly remember. It makes him nervous because this kind of behavior is not what he'd expected from the youngest Winchester and Lucifer's vessel. This belief that good things can still happen, that if only he works hard enough then maybe he can make things just a little bit better for the world, that Sam carries is astounding.

The fact that all of God's angels have given up on Him, even the ever faithful Castiel, when this damaged human has not...stirs shame and awe in Gabriel. Shame over his part in breaking this amazing example of what his Father created and awe just in Sam.

It comes as a shock to him, when Gabriel finds himself thinking that he might not be able to stand losing something so beautiful to his twisted and deformed brother. Lucifer will ruin Sam in a way nothing else has been able to and that realization hurts right down in the Grace he tries to forget existed.

_I might have been wrong._ Gabriel muses as he watches Sam stand at of the sink of another grimy motel bathroom, head bowed in prayer. The boy's words whisper across his mind and the sadness laced in the thoughts nearly makes his wings ache. He knows instinctively that Dean is out on a bar crawl and Castiel is with him, leaving Sam alone, which is the exact opposite of what he needs right now.

Sam finishes with a whispered aloud 'Amen' and sets about to brush his teeth, all the while not looking at the mirror. Gabriel lingers for a moment more then wings over to wait, in plain sight, cross-legged on the youngest one's bed.

_This has gone on long enough._ He thinks silently, decision final. And when Sam walks through that doorway and meets his eyes, Gabriel's Grace flairs to life stronger then ever.

"Hey, kiddo."

He has a purpose now, and this time he refuses to run away. He won't make the same mistake twice.


	5. A Moonlit Picnic

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #5: Moon  
Word Count: 1123  
Spoilers: None.  
Warnings: PWP  
Rating: R  
Summary: Sex in the moonlight.  
Notes: First attempt at SPN PWP.

* * *

Sam had quickly taught himself to stop saying 'God' during sex with an archangel, not just because it felt kind of wrong to them both but also because...well...he really hoped God wasn't watching them at those times. It was a creepy thought, and sometimes what they did he was positive God would not look too passively on.

For an angel, Gabriel was pretty kinky. Not that Sam was complaining because he has his kinks too. Namely bondage and mirrors. But Gabriel, his biggest thing is public sex. Which is not something Sam's ever considered for himself, after all his morals are still mostly intact.

If there is one thing Gabriel's good at it's convincing Sam to try new things.

The angel decides to start him out small so after dropping Dean and Castiel off at a hotel for the night, Gabriel takes Sam on an angel express ride to an empty meadow. A snap sets out a huge plush blanket and an arrangement of pillows that will most likely just get pushed aside anyway. The meadow is peaceful and lit up by an almost full moon, the sounds of nature are soft background music and so far Sam likes it.

Gabriel turns to him and gives a smirk that promises everything he could ever ask for as the angel grabs hold of the waist band of his jeans and tugs him onto the blanket.

Sam lets himself be pushed onto his back and drops his hands to Gabriel's thighs when the angel straddles his hips. He's already just over half hard and Gabriel is a solid weight that only helps him swell. Slowly the angel starts rocking against him, grinding their cocks together and Sam whimpers, an exhalation of sound that never fails to make Gabriel's grin feral. It's a slow building of pleasure and sensation and they're still dressed. Sam has to admit to being a little less then happy with that but Gabriel is making no indication of rectifying it.

Gabriel leans down and Sam opens his mouth willingly under the press of lips against his, humming as the angel strokes tongues with him. Sam lifts his hands and slides them into Gabriel's hair, carding the silky strands and tugging gently, prompting a moan from the angel. Gabriel breaks the kiss to start licking at Sam's neck and he tilts his head back, baring more of his skin. It's an unconsciously submissive action and Gabriel loves that he is the only one who gets to see this side of the hunter. He drags his teeth across skin and gently bites down, reveling in the breathless gasp that follows. He's still moving, still rocking against Sam and Gabriel is painfully hard, nearly ready for the best part. He can sense that Sam is feeling the same.

Gabriel leans back, sliding down off of Sam and giving a victorious grin at the muttered protest. "It's alright Sammy." he purrs, "I'm not going any where." Would have to be stupid and blind to. To reassure he rests on hand on the human's thigh, rubbing his thumb gently and snapping with his other hand. Their clothes finally disappear and the shiver Sam gives at the sudden vulnerability has Gabriel leaning over to draw him into another kiss. Once he has deemed Sam relaxed enough, Gabriel snaps a tube of chocolate lube into hand. He pops the cap, a sound Sam seems fine tuned to because the younger tries to spread his legs and Gabriel bites his lip at the wanton display. Instead, Gabriel squirts a small amount onto his palm and wraps the hand around Sam's erection.

Sam keens. "Gabriel!"

He smirks at the call and works Sam quickly first, then slowing down right when he senses the human getting close. The boy writhes, pushing up into his fist and panting. "Gabriel, please!"

"What Sammy?"

"Want you...please."

Gabriel groaned. Sam begs so prettily it never fails to send a shock right through his dick. He nods, uncapping the lube again and re-slicking his hand then finally, finally eases a finger into Sam's tight channel. His ass clamps down on Gabriel's finger and the angel spares a moment enjoy the thought behind it before carefully stretching and searching for that pleasure spot. He knows he's found it when Sam moans brokenly and pushes back on his hand, encouraging the introduction of another finger. Gabriel works him open quickly after that, barely holding on with the show Sam's putting on.

Finally Sam gives a breathless growl and reaches down to grab Gabriel's wrist. "Stop. I want your cock now, Gabriel."

Gabriel's blood heats at the demand and he blows out a breath. "Okay Sam."

With no more fanfare, he really doesn't want to piss off Sam and not be able to take this up to the next step next time, Gabriel slicks himself and rests just outside Sam's hole. '"You ready, Sammy?"

"I was ready forever ago." Sam grumbles and shifts to wrap his legs around the angel's waist.

"Okay then." Gabriel chuckles and slowly starts to sink into Sam's heat, biting back a curse at the tight fit. "Sam." he moans.

Sam releases a similar sound and jerks so that Gabriel is forced to bottom out. Once fully sheathed Gabriel pauses to regain control, Sam taking initiative like that always got to him in the worst ways and he was about to blow.

After a moment Sam begins to get impatient again, wiggling and squeezing on Gabriel to get him to move. With a snarl, Gabriel gave and pulled out to snap his hips forward again, wrangling a short scream from Sam. The pace from there was quick, punctuated with breathless and sometimes loud noises from them both. It couldn't last long and Gabriel knew he wouldn't so he began shortening the thrusts and moving quicker, reaching down to fist Sam's cock. Only a couple minutes later Sam's whole body tensed and he came with a loud shout of Gabriel's name as he spilled over the angel's hand. The spasming around his cock pushed Gabriel completely over the edge and he grunted, pressing as close to Sam as possible before releasing into his heat.

All at once energy left them both and they collapsed, Gabriel sprawled on Sam's heaving chest. A lazy, forced snap rent the quiet and then they were both clean and wrapped up in blankets. Sam slowly caught his breath while staring up at the moon.

Gabriel stirred and lifted his head to peer curiously at Sam. "So, what'd you think kiddo?"

"Stupid question, Gabe." Sam snorts. "It's sex with you, I'd love it anywhere."

"Really now?" The hopeful tone is very obvious and Sam smirks.

"But I didn't say that I would."


	6. To Taste Determination

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #6: Tears  
Word Count: 744  
Spoilers: Up to season 5.  
Warnings: Angst, not a happy ending  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Six deaths Sam cried to and the one he didn't.  
Notes: Eh, didn't come out quite how I had intended and is more of a pre-pre-slash then actual Gabriel/Sam. *shrugs* But it's there, in hiding.

* * *

Sam was too young to even remember anything about his mother, let alone cry over her death. It didn't matter though because she was the first person to die for him.

When Jessica died, Sam cried for weeks and because she was his first love he never truly recovered. She was the second person to die because of him.

Their father was the next person he lost and it hurt just as badly as losing Jessica had and he cried only slightly less. He had never gotten along well with John, they were just too similar, but Sam still loved him. Loved him so much. And he knows now, that John had only ever done his best to do what he could for his boys. Giving his life for Dean's was only what John had thought was best. He knew that Sam couldn't survive without his brother and he knew that what Sam really needed was Dean, not him. He knew that Sam would need all the protection and love that Dean had for him if he was to survive through the mess that was coming next. He knew all this and now Sam understands too. Their father was the third person to die for him.

Then, despite their father's sacrifice, Sam died anyway. Stricken and lost without Sam, Dean took a page out of John's book and sold his soul to get his baby brother back. After learning what Dean had done for him, Sam felt worse then ever. He was now going to lose his brother and Dean seemed to think Sam was strong enough to handle that but he knew the truth. Their father was right, Sam would be ruined without Dean. He cried at just the thought.

Following the truth, their friend the Trickster took it upon himself to show Sam exactly what would happen when Dean died. Sam was horrified at what he had become without Dean by his side and despite the Trickster's words about just letting Dean go, Sam became even more determined to stop it.

No matter what he did though, Dean still died and became the fourth person to die for him. Sam was just as lost as he suspected he would be, completely clueless about what to do now that he was all alone. And so when Ruby slithered in and offered him a path, Sam took it with the desperation of the broken. She became his only support and under her control Sam lost himself.

Not even Dean's return could fix what had broken inside of Sam and his new path chosen by Ruby, ended when he broke the world. When he let loose the greatest evil known to man and finally realized the truth. It all came back to him. Everyone died because of him and so Sam made it his new and only mandate to not let another person die. If that meant saving the world, then so be it.

And he succeeded for a little while, until suddenly he failed twice in one moment. Ellen and Jo. Two of their rag-tag little family sacrificed themselves to stop the devil and they all failed. Lucifer walked away even more empowered and Sam and Dean were left even more devastated. He cried for more then just their deaths this time, he also cried for their lives. They were the fifth and sixth people to die because of him.

Sam began to slowly spiral downwards again as he watched his brother die from the inside and their angel Fall rapidly. They could take a half-step forward only to have the apocalypse jump three steps ahead. It seemed that no matter what he tried, Sam couldn't fix anything.

Then, help appeared in the unassuming form of someone who had tormented them since the beginning. Gabriel. The Trickster. The same person Sam had hunted for three solid months with a cold determination. That was forgotten then as Gabriel squared off against the devil just to give them chance to escape.

Gabriel was the seventh sacrifice and Sam did not cry. Refused to because too many people have died for him and he was going to put a stop to this. Right now. No one else was going to die, even if he himself had to just to make it all stop.

Sam would be the final sacrifice, everything would become full circle and the world would stop ending because Sam will be where he belonged.


	7. High Maintance

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #7: Spirits  
Word Count: 968  
Spoilers: None.  
Warnings: Some Winchester whump  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: It was just supposed to be a simple salt and burn but as usual things never go as planned.

Notes: I felt I had to write this to make up for #6 and it's lack of a happy ending.

* * *

It was just supposed to be a simple salt and burn, something they've both done since they could hold a shotgun. It was so simple the brothers had even waved off their respective angels and forced Castiel and Gabriel to go have some brother time of their own.

Dean can't even pinpoint when it all went wrong, they were so close to finishing the job. All that was left was to light that match and let it go but somehow between pulling out the matchbox and striking the match the situation spun wildly out of control.

It wasn't just an angry spirit, it was one very fucking smart angry spirit. One moment Sam was at his side, where he belonged, and the next he had been shoved straight into the grave, falling with a startled yelp.

"Sam!" Dean was able to get a glimpse of Sam sprawled out on top of the corpse before he was yanked away from the grave and flung back to crash painfully into a wide grave stone. The world spun wildly and pinpoints of light crowded his vision as Dean groaned, body limp on the wet grass. It took what felt like a long time _too long_ for his head to stop pounding enough for Dean to attempt getting to his feet. The effort was more then it should have been and he had to cling to the cold, wet stone in order to remain standing.

The fine rain made it slightly difficult to see very far but he could see enough. Particularly strong spirits can make contact with the physical plane far easier then most would think and this one was just powerful enough to move the dirt they'd extracted from over its coffin. It was moving the dirt back into the grave. Where Sam was.

"Sammy!" Dean shouted, voice cracking with fear. He still couldn't hear anything from Sam and began to fear his brother had been knocked out. If so, then he was about to be buried alive. No, that's not going to happen. Dean gathered himself and stumbled away from his stone support but the ghost wasn't about to let him interfere and it honestly didn't take much to knock him back to the ground.

_Sam. Oh, God. _Dean's mind spun, searching desperately for something that could help. Then it hit him like a bag of rocks. _Of course_. He bent his head, nose buried in rain wet grass, and prayed.

_Cas, please, help. I need help, it's Sam. Please, please be listening._

Only a moment later he felt it. The tiny tingle across his skin that told of an angel's arrival. He lifted his head and there was Castiel, crouched in front of him with concerned blue eyes.

"Cas." he breathed. "Sam!"

"Gabriel is taking care of him." Castiel muttered. "It's okay."

Dean released a breath. "The fucker came out of nowhere. I never saw it coming."

Castiel nodded and brushed a hand through Dean's short hair, hand warm and comfortable. The pain in his head faded away and Dean reached up to take hold of the angel's hand. "It's done, Dean. I will take us back now."

"But Sam…"

"He is with Gabriel and he is fine. They need some time together now."

"Alright." he agreed, "Then lets go back."

Just like that, they were gone.

When Castiel had got the call that the brothers Winchester were in trouble (again), Gabriel had felt his unnecessary heart stutter but he could not have expected what they'd arrived to see.

Dean was collapsed on the ground several yards from the target grave and Sam…was in said grave. A grave that was quickly filling with dirt.

Worry, fear, irritation and other panic induced emotions sent a wave of his Grace across the cemetery, destroying this renegade spirit and few other weaker ghosts. He snapped himself to the edge of the grave and left some of the tension give when he saw that mostly Sam's lower half was dirt covered. Still, Sam wasn't moving and that alone was cause for more concern. He quickly snapped the younger man out of the grave and kneeled beside him, rested a hand over his forehead and gently pushed his Grace into the human, healing any injuries.

"C'mon now, Sammy. Open those pretty eyes for me, alright?"

Finally Sam gave a little groan and cracked his eyes open. "Gabriel?"

"Yeah, kiddo."

"Uh. What happened?"

"You let a ghost kick your ass that's what. What happened to it being a simple salt and burn, huh? I just can't let you go out on your own can I, Sammy?"

Sam graced him with a half-hearted bitchface and sat up, twining fingers with the angel. "Where's Dean? He alright?"

"Dean-o is just fine, Sam. Back at the motel with Cas. We on the other hand are going to go have some quiet time to ourselves. Or maybe not, knowing you."

"Gabriel…"

The angel shushed him with a quick, dirty kiss. "Shut up Sam. For now on I'm coming on the rest of your hunts. That's non-negotiable."

Suitably chastised, Sam nodded and let Gabriel tug him to his feet.

"Never met anyone so high-maintained as a Winchester." Gabriel muttered, a little exasperated.

Sam grinned and leaned down to wrap his arms around the angel and bury his nose in the shorter man's hair. "Sorry."

"Yeah well, it's fine 'cause you're gonna make it up to me."

"What did you have in mind?"

Gabriel leered, "Oh Sammy, I have several ideas of what I'm going to do to you."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Sam whispered into his ear, giving a full body shudder when Gabriel reached around to grab his ass and pull them closer.

"Just building tension, Sammy."

Sam laughed, light and happy and they disappeared.


	8. A Mission of Divine Tastes

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #8: Taste  
Word Count: 1755  
Spoilers: Gabriel.  
Warnings: None really, just Gabriel  
Rating: PG-15  
Summary: _Sam has never liked sweets so Gabriel sets out to find the one thing he does like.  
_Notes: Dudes, I had to actually research for this. Well, I mean I Googled most expensive chocolate and went from there but still...

* * *

Even as a child Sam had never been a big fan of sweets. Dean loved it enough for the both of them and Sam had known that his brother was secretly happy that they never fought over who got that last piece of candy or chocolate. Now though, it seems everyone is just blaming his lack of interest on his health consciousness. Sam can't really be bothered to correct them because Dean and Gabriel will just push at him even more then they already do if either of them find out the truth. In fact, Castiel is the only who never pressures him about anything and Sam finds relief in that.

Lately though, Dean and Gabriel have been teaming up to attempt to ply him with any degree of sweet they can find. It's growing increasingly annoying and Sam finds himself retreating to hang with Castiel more as a result. His brother's angel seems to understand perfectly and as Sam recalls all the times Dean had pressed human foods and comforts on Castiel he realizes that the angel does sympathize.

Eventually Sam's annoyance peaks and he slips out the truth in a shout of frustration to Gabriel. The archangel is waving a long string of licorice and package of Skittles in Sam's face while he's trying to research on his laptop.

"C'mon Sammy, you never even try any of the stuff I bring you!"

The angel is close to pouting now but Sam's seen that face so often he has become nearly immune and the expression is usually false anyway so he pays Gabriel no mind. Unfortunately Sam keeps forgetting that Gabriel can't stand to be ignored so when the angel pokes him harshly on the nose, Sam snarls and opens his mouth to yell when Gabriel shoves the licorice in. Manners are a deeply ingrained part of him and Sam instinctively chews so that he can clear his mouth. He grimaces in distaste and swallows before giving Gabriel his most powerful bitchface.

"God damn it, Gabriel! Will you fucking stop already?" he snaps, slamming the lid down on his laptop.

Gabriel blinks and gives a frown. "But you don't know what you're missing!"

"I'm not missing anything!" Sam says, standing up quickly from the table to prowl over to his bed. "I just don't like sweets of any kind, why can't you two leave it alone? Jesus…"

"Don't like…" Gabriel trails off, eyes narrowed suspiciously on the hunter. "So this isn't just your herbivore tendencies is it? You actually don't enjoy anything good do you?"

Gabriel shakes his head at Sam's dry look and smirks. "I mean besides sex."

Sam rolls his eyes and bitchfaces the far wall so he won't have to look at the scheming expression he just knows the angel is sporting.

Gabriel makes a soft considering noise and vanishes with a snap to leave Sam staring at the space where he had been standing suspiciously. When he doesn't return after several minutes Sam settles back on his bed and relaxes, figuring he'd get some sleep until his brother and Castiel come back with food.

Throughout the course of the next week, Gabriel pops in at completely random times and tricks or begs or forces Sam to try different types of candy from all over the world with the apparent intention of finding one Sam will admit to liking. The angel has failed every time and Sam is surprised he's stuck it out for so long, possibly just a little impressed. Gabriel is showing stubbornness on par with a Winchester and he's so determined that Sam gives him no more problems then an exasperated eye roll. He's kind of curious to as to what Gabriel will come up with.

But when one week becomes two and then three and even Dean stops trying to help Gabriel with ideas, Sam's patience declines rapidly again and he gives up on finding anything good. Gabriel, however, still does not. Seemingly refusing to accept this as a loss the angel makes one last ditch effort.

Sam is alone again but this time he's already on the bed, a scattered array of books borrowed from Bobby surrounding him. On his lap is a notebook filled with his neat but cramped handwriting and an old, old hunter's journal. The sound of a snap makes Sam sigh but he obediently sets the two books aside and turns to Gabriel.

The angel looks worryingly impressed with himself and his eyes are sparkling with confidence and something that looks suspiciously like hope. Without saying a word Gabriel steps close to Sam, stops by the edge of the bed, and hands the hunter a small brown box with a golden 'dL' insignia.

Sam takes the box slowly, with a curiously raised eyebrow and Gabriel only gestures for him to open it. He does so and blinks a few times. Inside, lying on a dip in what looks like satin are two cylinder shaped chocolates, each one about the size of an index finger. There are chunks of golden colored flakes in the chocolate that he assumes are also chocolate. He gently picks one up and stares at Gabriel.

The angel makes an impatient hand flap and Sam has to wonder if he's somehow become mute. Gabriel rolls his eyes, clearly catching Sam's thought so he shrugs and peers at the chocolate before giving in and taking a bite.

Taste and flavor just explode across his tongue and Sam lets out the most pornographic moan he's ever made without actually having sex. In that moment his focus is on nothing more then savoring this little stick of heaven and really, he could die happy right now. These things would most definitely be in his heaven. Sam opens eyes he didn't realize had closed to lick the remnants of chocolate off his fingers.

When he looks up to thank Gabriel he pauses because the angel's mouth is literally hanging open and his eyes are glazed. When his gaze travels further down he realizes why, Gabriel is straining in his pants right now.

"Holy Fuck, Sammy." Gabriel gasps, voice raspy with sudden lust. "That was the single fucking hottest thing I've ever seen."

Sam flushes and shifts on the bed, closing the box of chocolates in embarrassment. Gabriel presses one knee on the bed to reach out and tug on Sam's hair gently in order to get the hunter to face him. "I'm serious, Sammy. If not for the fact our brothers will be back in exactly two minutes I'd already have you on your back and that sweet ass would be mine." Gabriel growls before hastily slanting his mouth over Sam's and plundering for all he's worth, tasting the divinity that is Sam and a tingle of leftover chocolate.

The rumbling of the Impala breaks the moment and Gabriel pulls back slowly, lingering as long as he can against Sam's mouth before separating completely. By this time Sam is painfully hard as well, both at the incredible kiss and Gabriel's possessive promise. Flushing and panting, Sam quickly reassembles the books across his lap and Gabriel leans against the nearest wall since there isn't enough room for him on the bed.

Sam picks the box back up, curious about the logo and is aware of Gabriel watching him closely. Just when he goes to ask what this stuff is the door opens and Dean saunters in with Castiel at his heels.

"The food has arrived!" Dean crows, setting his two bags of take-out on the table and taking the other from Castiel.

"Thanks dude." Sam says, and hopes Dean had decided to be a good brother today and get him a salad.

"Guess what, Dean-o." Gabriel says over him, "we finally found the one chocolate Sammy here can't resist!"

Dean actually drops his burger as he turns to stare at Sam, Castiel also directs surprised eyes toward him. "Really? 'Bout fucking time, man! So, what is it?"

Sam shrugs and holds out the box toward Dean to look at. "Dunno man but it's the greatest thing I've ever had."

They both turn toward Gabriel, though Dean is busy poking and peering at the confectionary, and if an angel could preen without having corporeal feathers, Gabriel just did. "That, my backwater friends, is a $45.50 box of DeLafee's chocolates. It is, and I quote: 'A luxury chocolate gift that combines two of the most luscious and sensual pleasures in the world: the finest Swiss chocolate and edible gold. DeLafée's edible gold flakes shine like little stars on the swiss chocolate pralinés.'"

Both brothers mouths drop.

"That's…that's edible _gold_ on there? How is that even possible?" Sam is stunned, he's also pretty sure he's never been this shocked in his entire life and that's saying something given they life he's had.

Gabriel only shrugs. "No clue, Sammy. Humans can manage some of the oddest things. But hey! At least we found what you like!"

"Dude!" Dean blurts suddenly, looking both incredulous and smarmy. "This is $45.50? _This_ little box of fucking two chocolate sticks is $45.50? Holy fuck, Sammy. I've always said you're a chick but this god damn proves it!"

Sam turns on his bitchface on and snatches the chocolate back. "Screw you, Dean!"

"Oh, sorry Princess, did I hurt your feelings?" Dean sing-songed and beside him Castiel looks so lost that he's not even paying any of them attention, just staring wistfully out the motel window.

Gabriel snickers and gets Sam's glare next before the youngest turns back to his brother with a malicious smirk.

"Whatever, Dean. Be a jerk. I just won't share this last one like I was going to."

And that right there gets Dean to stop laughing in an instant because he knows that if Sam honestly adores those things then they have to be amazing and he won't be able to live with himself if he never gets to try them.

"Awww, but Sammy! You know I'm just playing!"

Sam only shakes his head and haughtily stuffs the box under his leg for protection. He'll save it to eat later when it's just him and Gabriel so they can finish what they'd started and Gabriel can hold true on what he had said.

The angel makes a noise that is nearly missed over Dean's pleading to Castiel to get him a box too, and Sam meets Gabriel's heated eyes with a smile.

"C'mon Cas, please?"

"I will not steal a box of chocolates for you, Dean."

"Damn it!"


	9. That Which Linger in a Broken Mind

Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #10: Shadows  
Word Count: 970  
Spoilers: None.  
Warnings: Mental Hospital!AU.  
Rating: PG-15  
Summary: Sam is a terrified trauma victim and Gabriel talks to shadows  
Notes: Yeah, yeah, so I'm skipping ahead a bit, sue me. This idea grabbed hold of my brain and refused to be pushed away so I wrote it. May someday expand on it but for now my muse has kindly decided to shut the hell up.

* * *

When Sam first met his roommate (cellmate), Gabriel was turned toward the darkened corner and talking animatedly, hands moving in quick, birdlike jerks.

The orderly gently prods Sam forward into the room, it was barely a touch but he flinches as if stricken and quickly stumbles forward, his tall frame unwieldy. The woman smiles reassuringly and motions toward the bed on the opposite side of the room from his new friend. Obedient, Sam slowly sat down, spine stiff as a board and eyes riveted on the man in the other bed.

His voice is pitched too low for Sam to make out any of the words but that was okay because at least it still wasn't quiet. The nurse shuffles around for a bit, doing things Sam can't put the effort into noticing as he gathers up all the blankets of his bed and cocoons into them. Eventually the woman leaves, tasks complete, and the door snicks shut behind her before the oddly loud sound of the lock clicks and Sam trembles.

His eyes are locked on the door, waiting with fear for something he can't remember anymore, and Gabriel's low voice is oddly soothing in the background. Back to the wall and body pointed toward the only entrance and exit, just like he was taught, Sam fell asleep.

When he awoke the room was silent and Sam's heart sped up a few beats as he quickly jerked and snapped his eyes to the door, which had remained closed. He's shivering violently, and his eyes are wide but when nothing happens after several long, quiet minutes Sam slowly relaxes. Finally his gaze drifts away and is instantly trapped by a pair of amber colored eyes that are directed right at him. Gabriel is no longer facing the corner and his mouth is shut as he watches Sam. For a long time they merely stare at each other.

Then Gabriel blinks and his mouth opens. "You're really big."

Sam has nothing to say to that. It's true, at least from what he remembers but then his memory has been odd lately and he's not sure how reliable it is. For all Sam knows he could be normal sized and Gabriel could just be super small.

The other man's lips twitch, as if guessing what he was thinking. "They call me Gabriel."

"Sam."

"Hi, Sam."

Sam only nods, wonders for a moment what they're doing but then it doesn't matter because the dark corner has stolen Gabriel's attention again and Sam goes back to sleep while watching the door.

The next morning the two of them are led into a large cafeteria that is over half full but still of a tolerable noise level and are let free to gather their own breakfast. Gabriel makes a hand motion at Sam to follow and leads him to the kitchen serving area. Sam only picks up a large red apple but Gabriel grabs a Styrofoam plate and heaps five pancakes onto it and slathers more syrup then can be healthy. The shorter man raises an eyebrow at Sam's meager choice but shrugs and then leads them to an empty round table.

They eat in silence, since Gabriel is focused entirely on his food and Sam is too busy trying to keep an eye on everyone in the place, old habits dying hard even when he can't remember what that habit was in the first place.

Eventually though, Gabriel leans back with a loud, satisfied sigh and Sam jumps, throwing him a bewildered look before going back to his crowd gazing. He can feel Gabriel's stare against his skin and Sam reluctantly turns back to meet it.

Gabriel makes a motion toward his hands and Sam jerks away before realizing that he was pointing at Sam's apple core and quirking an offering eyebrow. Tension eases from his shoulders and Sam willingly places the apple remains onto Gabriel's plate.

By then an orderly has noticed that they're both finished and they are led back to the shared room with a parting notice that in a few hours they will be collected again to be involved in a few exercises. Sam doesn't pay this much attention, just huddles back onto his bed as Gabriel does the same but spread eagled and loose limbed where Sam is tense as a bowstring.

"Hey Sam." Gabriel says after a bit.

Sam doesn't answer but Gabriel doesn't seem to need one.

"Who's Dean?"

Everything in Sam ices over for brief moment before he hears the howling of those beasts and Sam hiccups a gasp, cowering down under his blankets and heart beating faster then ever. They're back. Those monsters are back and he doesn't know what to do, there isn't anything to do and oh God, the blood, the blood is everywhere and he can't escape it, he can't run away this time, it's too much.

Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean. DEAN.

The only thing in his world that ever meant anything and it's gone. Gone with the echoes of his own screaming and the Hell beast's snarls.

"Sam. Hey, man. Sam. I'm sorry. Sam. Sammy!"

He comes back to himself with a strangled scream only to find Gabriel crouched over him, amber eyes intense and calming. He's shaking like a leaf in a hurricane but Gabriel's weight over him is grounding and gradually Sam remembers how to breathe. Images of blood and fangs and green eyes wide with pain and terror slowly fade and are forgotten.

Gabriel doesn't ask if he's okay but does climb off him and shuffles back over to his own bed. Sam watches him go, body limp and calm, and sleep tugs at his exhausted mind. The last thing he sees this time is Gabriel's relaxed back as he talks to the shadows in the corner.


	10. Donum Vita

Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #29: Sun  
Word Count: 1,399  
Spoilers: Gabriel?  
Warnings: Writer's liberty with mythology  
Rating: PG-15  
Summary: _Sam finds a phoenix or rather, it finds Sam.  
_Notes: So, yeah. It's been a while, huh? I actually have no idea where this came from but I guess it works. And my mind has apparently decided against my will that it no longer wishes to write these in order, like I planned. Naturally.

* * *

"How the fuck, Sammy?" Dean hadn't sounded this incredulous since he first heard Bobby Singer suggest angels could exist.

"I have no idea."

"No, seriously. _How_?"

Sam sighed and rubbed a palm over his face. "I don't know, Dean."

They both stared down at the creature on Sam's bed, surrounded by the ashes left over from the blankets Sam had tried to use to hold it.

It was a phoenix.

Sam had found a fucking phoenix, of all things. And for some strange reason it had become very attached to him.

"What the Hell is it about you that draws these fucking things?"

Sam threw him a bitch-face and debated bringing up Dean's epic, totally-not-as-secret-as-he-thinks-love for Castiel but in the end decided it wasn't worth it. He's sort of saving that revelation for when Dean finds out he's been dating, in a way, Gabriel. And won't that be fun?

Sam shakes the thought away and focuses on the current problem instead. The phoenix is beautiful, no doubt there. It's about the same size of a barn owl with brilliant red-gold feathers that randomly burst into fire like the popping of embers on wood. It gives off heat like a mini-furnace and their motel room feels about 80 degrees.

Somehow it had followed them here and after sparking its way into their room, neither Sam or Dean could bring themselves to shoot it, the mystic bird had settled down on Sam's bed like it belonged there. When Sam tried to move it using a blanket as a buffer, the fabric had simply gone from blanket to ash the moment it touched the phoenix.

Honestly, they were both at a complete and utter loss over what to do. It was a goddamn _phoenix_, before today neither brother even spared a thought toward the existence of such creatures.

"Maybe you should call Cas?" Sam suggested, knowing that something needed to be done before the creature imploded. If that part of the mythology was correct anyway, which Sam had no reason not to think it was.

"Yeah, okay." Dean turned to grab his phone and jabbed a finger toward the flaming bird. "Don't let it near my stuff!" he warned before backing out the door.

Sam's eyes rolled and he waved the other off. He heaved a sigh and pulled out one of the table chairs to plop down and stare at the phoenix. It watched him right back, the red eyes were serenely intelligent and Sam found himself smiling with gentle wonder. He never could have imagined being so privileged as to witness a living, breathing bird of rebirth. Honestly, not even finding a genuine unicorn would make him happier.

The sound of a light snap and the subtle flap of wings alerted Sam to the arrival of their two angels and he turned in his seat to greet them both, only to find Gabriel and Castiel staring at the phoenix with visible awe.

"Wow, Sammy." Gabriel mused, "you really don't do anything by halves."

Sam blinked, uncertain as to if that was a good thing or not. "What do you mean?"

"The phoenix never show themselves to humans, not intentionally. The only reason the myth of them exist is because of stolen glimpses of things most humans would pass off as dreams." Castiel stated simply.

"So why is it here then?" Dean asked as he returned from outside.

Gabriel looked down at the fiery bird and smirked. "I'll give you one guess."

The phoenix cooed with a sound like many tiny bells and flapped its flaming wings happily, all the while looking at Sam.

"You're kidding me." Sam said flatly.

"We are not joking." Castiel assured him. "This particular phoenix indeed appears to be quite taken with you."

Dean snorted and leaned against the wall. "I'm honestly not even surprised anymore. All we need now is a unicorn and we'll be all set."

Sam internally winced at the repeat of his own thoughts and shook his head. "So, what do we do?"

"Do about what?" Gabriel asked as he flopped down next to the phoenix as if he owned that particular bed.

"About the phoenix." The 'you idiot' went unspoken but they all heard it anyway.

"There's nothing you can do. It's attached and won't want to be leaving anytime soon. One thing you can't do is make a phoenix do something it doesn't want to."

"What? We can't keep it! It's a bit noticeable don't you think?" Dean snapped.

Gabriel shrugged, "It's like Cas said, the phoenix aren't seen unless they want to be."

"We can't take care of a mythical bird, Gabriel!" Sam said, exasperated as he got up and warily approached the bed. The bird watched him, completely unconcerned and when he sat down, it trilled and launched itself at him. Sam tried to flail away but surprise shocked him still when the bird landed on his lap and the fire licked over his skin and clothes without injury. He let out a stuttered breath and gently cradled the phoenix in his arms as it rubbed itself happily against him.

"Holy shit." he heard Dean mutter from behind but Sam was too busy staring at the creature to bother looking at his brother.

He was _holding a fucking phoenix_. Sam slowly lifted eyes to look at Gabriel and the archangel was smiling softly, content in every line of his body as he lounged beside Sam.

"So what are you going to name it, Sammy?"

Sam blinked over at his brother as Dean settled down onto his own bed while Castiel stood beside it trying, and failing, to not look like he wanted beside Dean. "What?"

"Well, I figure if you're going to keep it then you'd do something girly like name it right? So give at least give it something badass, alright?"

Sam rolled his eyes but gave it some honest thought. After a moment he smiled. "Vita."

"Vita?" Dean wrinkled his nose, "Isn't that latin?"

"Yeah, means 'life'."

Dean heaved a put-upon sigh and waved a dismissive hand at him. "Whatever floats your boat, man."

Sam looked at Gabriel and the angel shrugged. "Works for me."

"So, how long do these things live for then?" he wondered aloud.

"Anywhere from 500 to 1,000 years." Castiel said promptly.

"Oh, so I don't have to worry about it imploding anytime soon then?"

"Nah, this one is young yet." Gabriel said, scooting closer to Sam and trying to get his arm around the human's waist. Sam shot a look toward Dean, who still wasn't paying any attention, but before he could elbow the angel back to the other side of the bed, Gabriel yelped and jerked away.

"It pecked me!"

Sam, Castiel and Dean all turned to stare at him. "What? It fucking stung alright?"

The phoenix was actually giving Gabriel the stink eye, you could practically see the 'don't touch my human' vibes coming from the bird. Sam couldn't help his snicker and Gabriel glared sullenly.

"Oh, I'm glad you find this so funny Sam."

Sam tried to wave away his mirth and shrugged helplessly before reaching out a hand toward the angel. Gingerly and suspiciously, Gabriel accepted and the phoenix sparked brighter in warning, the feeling like a tingle across Sam's skin. With an angry glower, Gabriel obeyed with a few mumbled enochian curse words. Then Dean was laughing and pointing at Gabriel.

"Dude! You just got cockblocked by a bird!"

Gabriel's scowl deepened and he glared at Sam but the youngest Winchester was busy dealing with the realization that Dean apparently already knew about them. Huh, well that was one less thing to worry about. So Sam smiled and looked down at the phoenix.

"Vita." he said calmly, "If you want to stay with me then you need to behave, okay? That means no pecking anyone unless I say it's okay." Because having this thing around to chase Gabriel off when he's being obnoxious might just be the best thing to ever happen.

Vita stared at him for a long moment before trilling softly and nuzzling further into Sam. This time Gabriel's touch was allowed, though the angel still looked annoyed.

When Sam woke up the next morning Dean and Castiel were snuggling in the next bed, he had a phoenix in his arms and Gabriel wrapped around him. All in all, it was a pretty damn nice way to wake up.


	11. Unbreakable

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #11: Light  
Word Count: 610  
Spoilers: Vague Season 5  
Warnings: Alternate Season 5 ending, like completely different. Angst out the wazoo.  
Rating: PG  
Summary: _At this point, death would be a blessing from God. If God still existed that is.__  
_Notes: Er, I'm sorry. This is...terribly sad and I have no idea why I wrote it. Seriously...no clue. *frowns*

* * *

He hadn't seen light in what felt like a very long time. He's not sure how long, exactly, they have kept him down here. Every once and a while a few of the demons come into his prison to poke and prod and torture but even then they keep him in complete darkness. Darkness so thick he can't even see the symbols etched on the cross they have shackled him to.

Somehow they even managed to manifest his wings, he doesn't know how or when that happened but he's honestly relieved he was apparently unconscious for it. He can only thank what little luck he had been in possession of that the demons only managed to draw out two of his thousand. The two he does have exposed are in enough agony that he's not sure he would survive the same thing being done to more. The appendages have been tightly wrapped in chains bewitched with Hellfire and the taint has spread so thickly over them that he's rather certain they'll never be of use again. Not that it matters. He knows he won't ever escape this place alive.

Honestly, he doesn't even care. The world has gone to Hell in a hand basket, quite literally, and he has nothing left to him. Not one thing. At this point, death would be a blessing from God. If God still existed that is.

The last thing he can remember from the time before this darkness is the look in his mate's eyes as he died.

They had been fighting, like always, it never stopped. Castiel, a former angel but still his brother no matter what Heaven said, died first. He died like a human, without a hint of light and nothing but blood stained dirt where the wing shadows should have been.

Like a game of dominoes, everything after that fell to shambles swiftly.

Dean died only moments after Castiel. The human didn't even get a chance to finish his anguished scream, eyes locked on Castiel's limp form, before he too was gone. Just as suddenly and uneventfully as the fallen angel.

As soon as Dean and Castiel had hit the ground, the demons knew they had won. Then they took their time. There were simply too many of them to fight and he was detained embarrassingly easy as his mate was tortured before his eyes.

The demons had a hate for Sam like nothing he'd ever seen but eventually he realized that Sam was actually nothing more then a scapegoat for them. A piece of meat and soul that they could take their hate for Lucifer out on. The Devil may be ruling the world in a borrowed vessel, and he really wished to know how Lucifer had managed to prevent Nick's decay, but that didn't mean the demons were happy to have him here. In fact, it seemed the opposite was true. And if they couldn't take down who they really wanted then they would settle for the next best thing. Lucifer's true vessel. Sam Winchester.

He had no choice but to watch Sam's slow death. Feeling the human's pain as his own, losing their bond link as Sam finally and forever died. The way Sam breathed his name (_Gabriel)_ like it was the only thing that mattered, even on the edge of death. That's what broke him. That last moment where he saw the light and life fade from his mate's beautiful hazel eyes with his name falling from those lips. Everything that came after meant nothing.

Which is why this prison of darkness can't break him. Not when he's already dead in every way that matters.


	12. Grumpy Sammy

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #13: Dream  
Word Count: 1,249  
Spoilers: Takes place sometime before "Hammer of the Gods" but no certain timeline.  
Warnings: Not much here besides some cussing.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: _Sam just wanted to sleep, to relax for five minutes. Was that really so much to ask for?__  
_Notes: I blame SarahTee for this. Seriously, beta-ing for other people's fic should not give me ideas of my own. Therefore, this entire thing is SarahTee's fault.

* * *

It's been three days since Sam had been able to get more then a few naps caught in-between food runs. This case has had them running non-stop to hunt down a ridiculously elusive band of vampires. And finally, Sam managed to track them to their hideout. They set out, just him and Dean because his brother is stupidly prideful and wouldn't let Castiel or Gabriel help, and successfully killed the entire nest. It was exhilarating, refreshing to be able to hunt like this with Dean again.

It was also freaking exhausting. Sam had long since run into the ground and was on the verge of collapse. All he wanted now is to sleep. Unfortunately, no one would shut up long enough for it to happen.

He does have a separate motel room, has had one ever since Dean pulled his head out of his ass and jumped Castiel. Gabriel came along soon after and now, somehow (Sam's not sure how this all has happened and quite frankly can't be bothered to care) is something important to him. Important enough that they share a bed and now Sam can't sleep without the angel there beside him.

He really doesn't care to look into why exactly the angel matters so much to him. The way Sam figured it, he's found something amazing in the middle of the end of the world so really, he's not going to risk losing it.

Still. There's only so much Sam can take. He needs sleep and to sleep he needs Gabriel but said angel is being kept busy by all the arguments Dean keeps drawing him into.

Really now. Who the Hell _cares_ whether M&M's or Skittles are better?

And Castiel is absolutely useless. He was supposed to be distracting Dean, usually through clueless seduction, so Sam can get Gabriel back to their room. Instead he is merely watching the back and forth yelling.

And yes, Sam was suitably distressed that apparently his only way to get rest is for Dean to defile an angel. At this point though he can't be bothered to feel guilt. After all, he set loose Lucifer on the world, in comparison Dean's sexual exploits with an angel seem terribly unimportant on the grand scale of sins. Besides, it's not like Sam hasn't been sleeping with an angel of his own. Although, he is certain Gabriel hasn't been as innocent as Castiel in a very long time, if he ever was. Actually, if anything Gabriel is definitely the one defiling Sam.

Honestly, Sam's practically asleep on his feet. Absently, and with a sleep deprived haze, Sam can only watch as his patience plummets and hits rock bottom with a dull 'splat'.

"Huh." he mutters quietly, a sound of bland disinterest. He must have been the only one to see and hear that because none of the others even look toward him. Great, now he's hallucinating. Wonderful.

With a nod of certainty, Sam plants a hand against the wall to steady himself and gather strength, then straightens and stalks across the room.

Gabriel caught the movement and turned, gracing Sam with a mischievous smile that turned into confusion and worry at the carefully blank expression on the hunter's face.

Sam didn't even pause, just grabbed Gabriel by the arm and started dragging him toward the door. The archangel allowed this, vaguely amused and curious.

"Whoa! Sammy, what's the rush?" Dean barked, eyes narrowed in suspicion. He is clearly upset to have his verbal sparring partner taken away but once again Sam could care less.

He stopped at the door, Gabriel held obsessively close and turned sharply to stab a finger at his angel stealing brother. "Shut. Up. I am exhausted, I am sore, I haven't slept in three days and the mere sound of your voice irritates me right now. In fact, why don't you do us all a favor and tonight while your 'sleeping' with Castiel, keep the action on mute so that Gabriel and I can have some 'sleeping' time of our own. Okay? Doesn't that sound fair?"

Sam took a breath, feeling something lift from his chest. "Now, I'm going to go snuggle with my angel and and quite possibly sleep for a whole day. If _anyone_ interrupts for any reason, I mean the world is already ending so I doubt we'll find anything more pressing then that, I will not hesitate to let Gabriel smite you all. Good? Good."

Dean just stared at him, red-faced and too bewildered to be furious, yet anyway, that would come later. Castiel was simply wide-eyed but stoic, as usual, and Gabriel looked to be on the edge of hysterical giggles.

Sam nodded once more and hauled Gabriel away again before the angel could do something stupid like laugh at him and further piss him off.

"Why, Sammy. That was such a passionate telling off I think I'm a little turned on." Gabriel looked down briefly and grinned. "Yup."

Too late.

If it were not for the demon blood and being the cause of the Apocalypse, Sam would be named a saint because somehow he found some patience left among the splattered remains to _not_ murder Gabriel with his own angel blade.

Though now that he thinks about it, killing Gabriel would defeat his purpose so maybe not a saint after all. Still, he thinks he deserves _something_ for his troubles.

Gabriel must catch the thought because a smirk, one of his sexy 'I've got just what you need' smirks, appears and Sam instantly know what the angel is thinking.

"No." Sam said, unlocking the door.

"No?" Gabriel repeated, sounding put off.

"I already told you I'm dead tired and intending on sleeping for the next day. Nowhere in there have I planned for sex."

Gabriel snorted and followed him into the room, watching as Sam tossed clothes carelessly on his mission to reach the bed. "You don't have to be awake for it. I promise to be gentle, you won't even know I'm fucking you."

Sam gave that idea the answer it deserved, that is to say complete ignorance, and sank down on the bed with a deep moan. He snuggled down among the covers happily and closed his eyes, only to open them a minute later in search of Gabriel.

The angel was staring at him, pouting but the expression was mostly fond. Sam rolled his eyes and reached out toward Gabriel, offering a hand.

Gabriel let the frown fall and grinned, climbing onto the bed behind Sam and tucking himself up close to the hunter.

Sam sighed, relaxing for the first time in days. He muttered a content sound when Gabriel dropped an arm across him and drifted closer to oblivion.

Before he could drop all the way asleep he heard Gabriel whisper, "You could have done this without me, you know."

Sam gave a minute shake of his head and said, voice already thick with sleep, "No, I couldn't. Need you here."

Gabriel sighed, brushing a hand through the human's soft hair. "I don't need to be in the bed with you to ward your dreams from Lucifer, Sam."

"Don't care 'bout dreams." Sam grumbled, wishing Gabriel would just shut up and let him sleep already. "I just want you."

And...Gabriel had nothing to say to that so Sam finally fell asleep, content and safe in his angel's arms.


	13. Hot Chocolate Convictions

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #14: Memory  
Word Count: 1,097  
Spoilers: Takes place soon after 'Changing Channels'  
Warnings: None.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Castiel tracks down Gabriel and gives him a reason to help them.

Notes: Sort of Castiel's pov and contains no Sammy except in name. Written because I'm a terrible person who does this instead of end of semester work.

* * *

It was difficult and it took a long time but he had finally done it. He found Gabriel. His brother was good, had to be to remain unnoticed from Heaven for so long, but Castiel was smart and determined. He may not be able to find God but he would find Gabriel, no matter what.

Too much depended on his success.

The building Castiel had tracked his brother down to was somehow typical of what he had expected. It was a quaint and small chocolate cafe in Finland. The atmosphere was warm and calm, a little quieter then Castiel might have expected but then, it has been a long time since he's seen Gabriel. His memories of the brother he had are not like the Gabriel he met again recently. His brother had changed, just like he himself has. And now Castiel can understand why Gabriel was this way.

The archangel was alone in a back corner, seated at a small square table with a mug of hot chocolate between his hands. When Castiel approached, Gabriel didn't look in the least bit surprised and pointed a finger at the chair opposite him.

"Sit."

It was an invitation so Castiel sat and Gabriel pushed the mug across to him.

"Try it. I don't know what those idiots have introduced you to but I doubt it's anything of real taste."

Castiel copied Gabriel's earlier pose and was pleasantly surprised by the warmth seeping into his palms. "Dean bought me burgers."

Gabriel snorted, looking less then impressed. "Like I said, nothing of real taste."

"Sam made me pancakes with, I believe he called them, chocolate chips." Castiel said primly, a subtle dig.

Gabriel blinked, brief emotion clouding his eyes before he grinned humorlessly. "I always knew you'd have a sweet tooth."

He hummed and sipped from the liquified chocolate. It was good, a thick sweet flavor that tingled pleasantly in his mouth.

"Why did you come here, Castiel?" Gabriel looked at him with guarded eyes, knowing what he wanted and knowing he still intended to refuse.

"There is a reason to fight that you have not considered."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. "Save it, Bro. The idiots already gave me this spiel, remember? You were there." Bitterness laces his voice.

Castiel shook his head and looked his brother in the eyes. "They have not."

The older angel quirked a brow, curious despite himself. "So what is it we have overlooked?"

"Sam."

"What does the boy have to do with this?" Gabriel's eyes narrow and the air grew heavy with power, with warning.

He ignored it. "Samuel will say yes."

Gabriel's eyes widened in shock; pain and panic washed through the amber.

"Dean will not." Castiel continued, "He never will, I've ensured that."

"How can you possibly be positive of that?" Gabriel demanded resentfully.

Castiel gave him no answer, he didn't need to. Gabriel could see it himself.

"Whatever happened to both of them never saying yes, no matter what?"

"Sam does not wish to give in to Lucifer but you know as well as I how our brother can be. He will play on Sam's weaknesses, and they are many."

Gabriel's eyes flash but Castiel pushed on, not giving him the chance to interrupt. "It would be different if Sam were not so alone. He has no support and no one to offer aid. The brother's relationship has grown too damaged to help. I can not offer the support he needs and do not have the right to."

Once again, Gabriel closed himself off. "What does this have to do with me?"

"When Sam says yes to Lucifer and Michael cannot get to his Vessel, Lucifer will take his ire out on Sam. The damage he will do to Sam's soul is something I'm sure you can imagine."

And finally, Castiel got the response he was looking for. Gabriel flinched, subtle but there.

"Even if Sam does manage to resist Lucifer for much longer, I fear he still will not survive."

"What do you mean?" Gabriel was trying to sound neutral but it's too late for that now.

"The simple truth. Alone, Sam is vulnerable and self-destructive. Even if Lucifer does not get to him, it is likely that Samuel will take drastic measure to escape him."

Instantly, Gabriel picked up on what he meant. There are ways to kill oneself that will also obliterate the physical body beyond resurrection. And Sam, better then anyone, will be able to find them.

That was the last straw for Gabriel, the very idea causing a swirl of mixed emotions in his amber eyes. "Enough, Castiel." he said quietly. "What do you want from me?"

"Sam needs you, he needs someone who can be his strength and give him a reason not to hate himself and everything he is."

"And what makes you think I can do that?"

"Because you care for him." Castiel said bluntly and Gabriel stared for a long moment but didn't disagree.

"After everything I've done to him, how could he possibly accept my help now?" The archangel sounded subdued and wistful.

"Because he still holds some degree of hope that angels are not all like the examples he has seen."

Gabriel looked searchingly at him but nothing Castiel had said was a lie and then Gabriel nodded. "I won't fight." he said firmly. "That has not changed. I won't fight my brothers."

"Sam will not ask you to."

And that is true as well but Castiel suspected Gabriel already knows. That was a warning for him. It's a condition Castiel is willing to accept. He doesn't want to hurt his brothers either and maybe now with Gabriel's assistance, he won't have to.

"Go back to them, Castiel."

He blinked, slowly and Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I'll find you. I have something to do before crashing whatever dump those two are staying in."

Castiel nodded and held his brother's eyes for a long minute then he was gone. He achieved what he had wanted, hoped, and now Dean was waiting.

Telling the hunter about what he had done was not something Castiel looked forward to. Dean's expletives were quite unpleasant. However, he was of the mind that Dean would forgive him, once he saw just what Gabriel could do for Sam.


	14. Behind the Scenes

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #16: Earth  
Word Count: 1,214  
Spoilers: General Season Five ending and some of Season Six  
Warnings: A tad angsty but not much.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: _In which Sam still has a fear, Gabriel is scary insightful and God plays matchmaker._

Notes: This evolved rapidly away from where I had originally intended but *shrugs* it just wrote itself and I couldn't stop it.

* * *

"Why won't you admit it?"

Sam blinked and looked up from his place on the ground to Gabriel, who hadn't been standing there a moment before. Sam's been sitting out here, alone, for a few hours now. He walked here after settling in at the motel with Dean to give his brother and Castiel some alone time. He really doesn't mind and even offered to get a separate room but it seemed Dean and the angel aren't quite at that point in their relationship. So he decided to walk to this park while they talked or stared at each other or did whatever it was they did when they were alone if they weren't having sex yet.

He was actually grateful for the opportunity to sit in the quiet and feel the breeze across his skin and through his hair. It wasn't often that he got this chance and the peace helped to counteract those occasional flashes of heat and flames and blood that he saw in his mind. The ground was solid beneath him and occasionally he liked nothing more then to dig his fingers into the dirt and realize it was actually there.

"Admit what?" Sam asked, a little curious but wary because Gabriel sounded frustrated.

The archangel's sudden resurrection had been just as much of a shock to all of them as it had to Gabriel. He wouldn't say how he was brought back or if he even knows, all he had said was that he was dead for real then just...not anymore. Dean might have been distrustful for a while but Gabriel stuck around, helping out when he felt like it and pulling harmless pranks with the same mindset and eventually Dean stopped bothering. For his part, Sam was just glad Gabriel wasn't dead, that he wasn't the only one who's sacrifice was rewarded.

He was still looking up, waiting for a response and passively holding the angel's gaze. Absently, Sam moved a hand and pulled gently against a clump of grass.

Gabriel gave a gusty sigh, "That you're in love with me."

Sam blinked and took a moment to think that through. "No, I'm not."

"Yeah you are, Sam. Just like I love you." Gabriel said, sounding so matter-of-fact that Sam almost believed him on tone alone. The angel grunted softly as he plopped down in the grass beside Sam, legs tucked neatly under himself.

Sam frowned but before he could say anything against that, Gabriel held up a hand. "Stop right there. You are, we both know you are and that's not the problem here."

Sam briefly had the thought that it really said something about his life that hearing an angel tell him being in love with a man, even, or perhaps especially, an angel in a man's body, was not a problem and he wasn't in the slightest surprised. He snorted and leaned back onto his hands, "Then what is?"

"The fact that you won't admit it, or do anything about it." He thought Gabriel meant the last part to be snarky and as innuendo but it fell flat and instead sounded far too serious. "So tell me, Sam, what's holding you back?"

The hunter took a moment, mostly deciding whether or not to answer but for the most part Gabriel had a right to know. That didn't mean Sam had to like it. He looked to the left, away from the angel at his side, and ripped a chunk of grass out of the ground.

Gabriel could only watch as Sam fiddled with the blades and let them filter through his fingers. Sam's answer, when it came, was soft and if he wasn't an angel Gabriel might not have heard it.

"You already died once."

"Yeah, and?" He'd really rather not think about the circumstances of his death and un-death but he couldn't see where Sam was going with this.

"And if you stay with me you will die again." Sam still won't look at him and he's down to a single blade of grass that is twirled between restless fingers. The hunter sounded disturbingly certain of that and Gabriel can't help his shiver.

"Why do you say that? What makes you so certain how the future will play out?" Gabriel snapped, a bit harsher then he'd intended.

"Because," Sam said slowly, voice steady if not empty, "everyone who loves me dies."

Gabriel wanted to deny it, to laugh in the hunter's face and call him a moron but he can't because it was true. In this whole mess of an Apocalypse anyone who had shown a bond with the Winchesters had become targets of Heaven and Hell both and in reality none made it out alive. If not for God cleaning up the mess his angelic children had created then most of those people would still be dead, some still were. So, yeah, Sam had a point but at the same time he was also missing one.

"Okay, yeah, that may have been true. Before." Gabriel sighed and shifted closer to filch the grass from Sam and forced the human to look at him. "You have to realize, Sam, that this didn't actually have anything to do with you. You and your brother...you guys drew the extremely short celestial straw and ended up in my Family's mess. You were merely a target and a victim of circumstances so far beyond your control it's sickening."

Sam watched him, brows furrowed and mouth tight but his eyes were keen on Gabriel's hands, which moved restlessly in gestures as he spoke. Now, Gabriel paused and laid his hand on Sam's cheek, tilting his head to meet the angel's eyes. The blade of grass was oddly cool against his cheek in contrast to Gabriel's skin.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Sam. It's over now and it doesn't matter who you love or who loves you. And believe me when I say that the only thing now that could drag me away from you would be God and I really think that would negate his reasoning for bringing me back." Gabriel said, voice fierce and determined with a hint of amusement.

"Wait." Sam blinked and gaped at him, "Are you saying He..."

"Brought me back specially so we could be together and make with the sexy times? Then yes. Not that he mentioned the sex bit but He knows me so He had to have realized that's part of the love package."

Sam looked a little shocked and Gabriel took the moment to lean forward that last bit and kiss the hunter softly and quickly. "Which means, Sammy, that we literally have permission of the Highest order for me to be with you. Can't ask for anything more then that, you know."

Sam felt like his mind was spinning too fast to keep up with and all he could think was 'Gabriel won't leave'. That...that was the single greatest thing he could have imagined. He came back to himself with a jolt and practically tackled the angel, fingers digging into fabric and mouths crushed together.

The single sliver of grass fell to the ground and Sam thought nothing of it. He had Gabriel now and the angel would be more then enough to ground him where he belonged.


	15. Life's Appointment Book

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #28: Speak  
Word Count: 718  
Spoilers: Need to know who Gabriel is obviously, mention of Andy.  
Warnings: Psychiatrist!Gabriel AU. A tad angsty, mentions of child abuse and alcoholism.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: _Five times that Gabriel met Sam in a professional setting and the first that started everything after_.  
Notes: I just happen to like this AU line, may be more eventually.

* * *

Gabriel's first meeting with Sam left him with three impressions. One, the young man was extremely insecure. Two, he was highly distrustful. Three, his loved his brother more then his own life. Quite frankly he worried the psychiatrist. Sam had little interest in himself and had said, as polite as possible, that the only reason he was there was because his brother had begged him into it. Gabriel was not surprised to hear it, most of his patients don't ever want to be there.

Actually, Sam reminded him of his favorite patient; Andy. The conspiracy theorist had the same soft tone and bright spark of intelligence as this college drop out. Gabriel made a mental note to have them meet.

The second appointment told Gabriel even more heartbreaking things. Sam had a dearly loved girlfriend at one point and they were together for over a year before she died in a house fire. He suspected Sam had a strong case of survivor's guilt and according to the brother, Dean, Sam took months to recover. If he ever truly did. It was because of the loss that Sam dropped out of college and started living with his brother, who was a full time mechanic at their uncle's salvage yard.

Sam spoke fondly of their uncle Bobby and clearly loved the man like a father.

Gabriel didn't get to hear about their real father until the third meeting.

John Winchester had become an alcoholic after the death of their mother, who died giving birth to Sam. Sam only knew what Dean could tell him about her. All Sam remembered was a father who seemed to resent his existence and his brother, who did whatever it took to protect him. The abuse differed for each boy. Dean took the physical assaults to save Sam but there was nothing he could do about the things John said to Sam as he grew up.

Gabriel felt he had a pretty good idea what those things included and so he didn't bother to ask. Sam would tell him if he felt the need.

Sam's fourth visit was about how the story of their father ended. Eventually the boys weren't children anymore and Dean, at age sixteen, took Sam and fled. They ended up at their mother's brother's home where Bobby Singer got the full story and reported John. John was arrested and charged with endangering the welfare of a child and declared an unfit father. At Dean's insistence and Bobby's agreement the brothers were given into their uncle's custody. Sam spoke lovingly of the man now but Gabriel could see that most of the damage had already been done by that time. It was of little wonder why Sam was the distrustful introvert Dean had come to him about.

The fifth appointment was a clear breakthrough in regards to Gabriel's personal intentions. Sam brought him a candy bar. To say Gabriel had been surprised would be a vast understatement because the meaning was subtle but clear. Sam said he'd noticed that Gabriel had a sweet tooth, a belief probably reinforced by the blown glass candy dish filled with a mix of Skittles and M&Ms. Gabriel suspects he had smiled stupidly throughout the rest of the meeting but he didn't really care because Sam never stopped smiling shyly either.

Gabriel saw Sam for the first time outside of his office while at the supermarket. He was flitting back and forth across the candy aisle when someone dangled a bag of Twizzlers in his face and Gabriel looked up to a gently grinning Sam. The younger man looked thankfully at ease while they talked and Gabriel couldn't help but be proud that he had something to do with the change.

The invitation popped out before he could stop it and Gabriel slapped a hand over his mouth, feeling nine kinds of stupid and terrified.

Sam's expression was much the same, a little shocked, more then a bit terrified and then he smiled. Bigger then Gabriel had ever seen from him and Sam's teeth were a bright white.

"You know what, Gabriel? I'd love to go out with you."

And really, what could he possibly say in return to that? So Gabriel just grinned right back and grabbed Sam's hand to continue on down the aisles.


	16. Wish Upon an Angel

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #25: Yearn  
Word Count: 601  
Spoilers: Turns AU after end of Season Five, Gabriel and Sam both come back at the same time. Sam does have his soul.  
Warnings: Permanent character harm, soft angst  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: _There are just somethings not even an Archangel can fix._  
Notes: Rather dedicated to bballgirl3022 because she asked for blind/deaf/mute!Sammy and I liked the thought. So, I did this.

* * *

Archangels may be powerful as all Hell but they're not all powerful. Gabriel had never resented that fact as much as he did right now.

Sam smiled at him, just as bright as ever and Gabriel gritted his teeth, forcing an answering expression even though he knew it would be lost on his mate. It hurt. It hurt so goddamned bad. Because Sam looked the same as ever. A giant of a human with floppy brown hair and beautiful hazel eyes. His ass still looked amazing in jeans and all of his limbs were still in working order, along with his mind.

All things considered, Gabriel knows he's lucky to have Sam at all after Lucifer was through with him. Still...

"Stop it, Gabriel."

Sam was still smiling but it was different now. Softer and sympathetic. Which is so ironic Gabriel didn't even know what to do.

"It's okay, really. Considering the alternatives I got off easy, you know that. Stop agonizing over what can't be fixed."

Gabriel huffed and tugged at Sam's hand to get the giant up from his chair. Sam followed willingly, trustingly, and Gabriel swallowed thickly at that before settling his human on their bed. He sat next to Sam and took the man's head in his hands, staring into those beautiful eyes.

"I know that, I do but..." he trailed off and stroked his thumbs along Sam's cheek bones, closing his own eyes to block out how Sam's were always so damned vague and empty.

"Gabriel." Sam reached up to hold the angel's hands, knowing suddenly the truth of what so bothered him. "Nothing can change this but that's not a bad thing. It doesn't mean you're failing me, this is just how it's meant to be."

Gabriel kept his eyes tightly closed, focusing on the way Sam's soul glowed so brightly. This was the only way to truly see Sam now. He stiffened when Sam's words came to him and Gabriel snarled. "You're fucking blind, Sam! How is that 'meant to be'?"

Everything in Gabriel yearned so badly to fix this but there was just nothing he could do. He was a fucking _archangel_ and he couldn't even give his mate back his sight.

Sam sighed, patient and weary. "Because I'm happy." he said simply and Gabriel paused, watching how the pulsing of Sam's soul marked his words as true.

"I'm blind. Okay, sure, it sucks, I won't lie. But it's fine, Gabriel because I'm finally fucking happy with my life. I've got you and Dean and Cas and an apocalypse free world. There is nothing else I need but you and them. I know that if anything were to happen, you will protect me. I trust you for that and so, if you think about it, I don't really need to see because I see you just fine. You're right here and you're not going to leave. That's more then enough for me."

He sounded so certain and sure that Gabriel bowed his head and fought the urge to cry. How could one human be so goddamned amazing? Just how did he manage to win over something so fucking beautiful?

"I love you, Sam." Gabriel breathed, opening his eyes to see that infamous brilliant smile and his heart, his Grace, had never felt quite like this.

"I love you too, Gabriel." Sam said serenely.

Yeah, Gabriel thought, a little stunned. Yeah, he did. He had everything he needed too, right here. Nothing had changed, not really and wasn't that the biggest miracle of them all?


	17. Sam and Valafar

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #27: Fire  
Word Count: 736  
Spoilers: None  
Rating: PG  
**Important note**: This is a small piece of my new crossover 'verse that I'm playing with. This _is_ a SupernaturalXPokemon fusion in that the characters of SPN own Pokemon. If that doesn't float your boat I suggest skipping this one.  
Summary: How Sam and Valafar meet a Man and His Houndour.

* * *

It was Valafar who reminded Sam that they needed to stop at the Pokemart to refill the potion stash. This task was always best left to him since Dean often got side-tracked and bought unneeded things just because they were on sale. Val dragged his backpack out from beneath the bed and Sam took the hint for what it was, quickly counting out their cash and palming only what he knew they'd need. He took the pack from his Growlithe with a grateful head rub and reached down to grab one of his brother's shoes from the floor between their beds.

Sam gripped it by the toes and stood before throwing the footwear at the human shaped lump beneath the covers of the opposite bed. It connected with a solid thump and the shape grunted, flailing with an unhappy noise to fight with the covers. From the floor at the end of the bed, Impala lifted her head, peering curiously over the edge at her master. Dean threw the blankets back and glared blearily at Sam, "What?"

"I'm going to the Pokemart, you need anything?"

"A new brother for starters."

Sam smirked and gave a shrug, "alright man, your loss. Just don't bitch later."

"You're the bitch." Dean muttered, already mostly asleep again. Sam laughed and shared a look with his brother's Ponyta before heading over to the door where Val waited patiently.

"C'mon Valafar, I bet we'll be back before he even gets up."

Val barked an agreement and led Sam out of the hotel room. The 'Mart wasn't far from the building they were staying and so the walk was only about ten minutes before the distinctive blue roof came into view.

There was a man waiting outside the Pokemart doors. He had messy black hair and very pretty blue eyes. Perched on his shoulder and the same shade of brown and tan as the man's trench coat was a fluffy Eevee.

Sam smiled a greeting and the man nodded in return, looking vaguely impatient as he passed into the store. The first thing to greet them was a colorful poster board advertising a 20% discount on potions. Grinning, Sam rubbed Val's head and tugged on his pack. "Looks like our lucky day, huh?"

The Growlithe followed close behind as his master headed straight for the HP/PP sale corner. Sam raked his eyes over the shelves of potions and grinned when he noticed a single max potion left.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed happily, snatching it off the shelf.

"Hey! Wait a sec!"

Sam startled at the voice and it made Val snarl in warning as they turned to face the man who had shouted. The guy was short, not that it meant much since Sam was taller then most people, had wavy chestnut hair and amber eyes. There was a stout Houndour at the man's side and their Pokemon eyed each other carefully.

"Hi." Sam said uncertainly, "is something the matter?"

"That's the last max potion, isn't it?" the stranger looked worried, shifting from foot to foot.

"Um, yeah, actually."

"Crap," he muttered to himself before turning his eyes on Sam. "Look, man, my little brother's Pokemon is sick and I really need that potion. Please, can I have it instead?"

Sam thought for a moment, then shrugged and handed it over. The man took it with wide eyes and a dropped mouth.

"What? Wait, hold on, you're really letting me buy this?"

"Yeah sure. Why not? You need it more then I do and I was only getting it for the sale anyway. I'll just stick to Hypers." he said dismissively.

"Wow, um, thank you."

"No problem. I hope your brother's Pokemon gets better."

"Yeah, uh, me too." With one last incredulous look, the man disappeared toward checkout, the Houndour following faithfully.

Sam stuffed a hand into his hoodie pocket and stared after. "Something about that guy struck me as strange." At his side, Valafar growled.

He spent five minutes gathering supplies and another seven just standing in checkout before finally making it back outside. The blue eyed man from before was gone and the sun was finally getting warm. Valafar stretched under the rays and make a noise of delight. Sam smiled down at his partner, then started back toward the direction of their hotel.


	18. Essence of Life

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam  
Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #19: Blood  
Word Count: 850  
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: Just some talk of blood, nothing serious.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: _Sam has an aversion to blood for a good reason, Gabriel just can't stand to see Sam bleed._  
Notes: Bad day, don't wanna talk about it, wrote this. *shrugs* Hope you like.

* * *

Gabriel wasn't the squeamish sort, never has been but especially not since becoming Pagan. Blood was too instrumental to those Gods and was more a tool then anything to be intimidated by. So no, blood didn't bother Gabriel(except when it painted the walls and halls and floors of an illusion shrouded hotel).

This, though, for some reason _this_ bothered him. It was a little thing, but it happened in slow motion as he watched the paper slide across Sam's finger too quickly and become like a blade. Sam hissed sharply, suddenly, and blood welled to drip with a swiftness that had the hunter scrambling for a tissue to wrap it with.

It was just a little thing but Gabriel felt vaguely sick to his stomach as Dean teased his little brother about maybe needing a band-aid. He shook it off as a bad taco, forgetting that angels didn't get sore stomachs and that he hadn't actually eaten any tacos.

The feeling came again when Gabriel got to witness his first time watching Sam be stitched up by Dean. The injury wasn't life threatening, which is why he was being forced to watch since both brothers refused to let their angels heal them unless it came to that point. Something about wanting to heal like humans. Frankly, neither Gabriel nor Castiel approved of that decision but it was impossible to sway the Winchesters.

So Gabriel watched, leaning against the wall by the bed and arms crossed while Sam suppressed the occasional flinch. There was a bottle of alcohol and a bunch of bloody, wadded up paper towels next to them. Gabriel couldn't help the way his eyes would stray toward the red stained towels or how his stomach felt like it was twisting inside his vessel.

As soon as Dean finished, Gabriel snapped away the mess they'd made and felt a bit better once he'd banished the bloodied rags. Then Sam smiled at him and he wasted no time kissing his human, the thrum of a strong heartbeat beneath his fingers stilling the movement of unease in himself. When they had sex that night it took everything he had not to heal Sam and he was careful to avoid the wound in all his movements.

It wasn't not long after that when Gabriel began to wonder if he was developing a fear of blood somehow and wouldn't that be mortifying. But then on the next hunt, Dean was the one who got hurt, it was only a minor head cut but those bled more anyway and Gabriel was relieved to notice that none of those feelings from before surfaced. Instead he watched as Castiel appeared unusually restless while Sam cleaned and bandaged the injury, his intense blue eyes following every move the humans made.

The realization hit Gabriel the following night, when Sam was sprawled out next to him on the bed, comfortably asleep after a pretty spectacular(if he did say so himself) bout of sex. He was tracing the slowly healing mark of Sam's earlier slash(it'll scar over into a raised line, he knew), thinking of the blood from that time and the sickness came back.

He pressed his palm over the area and realized it wasn't blood itself that so unsettled him, it was _Sam's_ blood. Because blood is what keeps humans alive and they're not supposed to lose it.

Because if humans lose too much of it they'll die.

And Gabriel knew he won't be able to stand it if Sam died.

The hunter shifted under his touch and cracked sleepy hazel eyes to peer at him with. "Stop worrying, Gabriel." his voice is think and rough and Gabriel loved that sound.

"I don't want you to die." Gabriel said in return, as terrified and honest as he was the first time he told Sam he loved him.

Sam gave him a smile, soft and glowing. "You promised me forever, didn't you?"

Gabriel nodded because it was true, he had and would do anything to keep that promise.

Rolling onto his side, Sam took Gabriel's hand and pressed a kiss to his palm. "Then stop worrying. Even once I do die we'll still be together in my Heaven, right?"

And that gave Gabriel pause because honestly? He hadn't really thought that far ahead. He offered forever but was sure that would only last for as long as Sam would want him. He hadn't really dared to think Sam would _want_ to be with him forever, together in Heaven.

Sam must follow his thought, sly hunter that he is, because he laughed happily. "See? Nothing to worry about. We'll be together always."

Gabriel closed his eyes and smiled helplessly as a totally different feeling shook his stomach and heart. It felt like happiness and he much preferred this sensation over the other.

"Love you, Gabe." Sam said, already fading slowly back to sleep.

"Love you too, Sammy."

The next time Sam got hurt, the sight of his blood still made Gabriel's heart work a little faster but the ill feeling doesn't return.


	19. Have the Sight

Table: #1-Elemental  
Prompt #18: Sight  
Word Count: 811  
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: Complete AU, allusions to sensitive subject: child abuse. A little angsty, sweet at the end.  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Sam has the Sight, or the ability to see souls in need of crossing over and Gabriel is his angelic helper.  
Notes: No idea, at all. Still hope you like it.

* * *

Sam held the little girl's hand gently and pulled out his cellphone, hitting the second speed dial. The girl, Jenny, sniffed and rubbed at her nose, smearing the blood running from it.

"Hey, Gabe. Yeah, I got another one. She's ready." he hummed and snapped the phone closed, shoving it back into his pocket. He crouched down and took her other hand to rub them gently. She was so cold he couldn't help it.

She looked at him, eyes red and wet. "I'll see mommy there?"

"Yeah, she'll be there, I promise." And she would be because Jenny's mother died ten years ago and the poor girl's been waiting all this time for someone to tell her what to do, where she needed to go. She'd been waiting for Sam.

There was a sound of ruffling feathers and Sam looked up at Gabriel, who stood at their side with a smile and his fluffy white wings spread.

The girl gasped and stared at Gabriel with wide, amazed eyes. "Are you an angel?"

"I sure am, Jenny. Sammy called me to help you go to your mommy."

She looked over at Sam, seeking confirmation and he smiled at her then reached out to press one of her hands into one of Gabriel's. Shyly, she let go of Sam and clutch at the angel. "It's not too far is it?"

Gabriel shook his head, "Nope. With me flying we'll have you there in no time at all."

Jenny grinned through the blood staining her small teeth. "Will you come too, please?" she asked of Sam.

He tried not to flinch but she clearly saw his distress anyway and Gabriel interrupted. "No, honey, he can't come with us. Sammy has to wait down here."

It was true, the place she was going was not anywhere he could follow. Not for a very long time, if ever. "It's okay, Jenny, you'll be fine. Gabriel will take very good care of you."

She wasn't happy with that but was eager to get to her mother so she nodded anyway. "Okay. Thank you, Sammy." she said before letting go of Gabriel to hug him as tightly as any child could.

Sam smiled sadly and hugged her back, smelling flowers beneath the sick tinge of blood. Taking hold of her again Gabriel gave Sam a look, "It's time to go, Jenny."

"Okay. Goodbye Sammy." she waved and he waved back as Gabriel fluttered his wings and disappeared.

Sam sat down on the bench in the park where he'd found the little girl and waited, hands clasped in his lap. Gabriel returned, alone, only minutes later.

"Did it go okay?"

"Yeah, she was ecstatic."

"It was just her mom, right? In her Heaven?"

Gabriel's eyes flashed, realizing what he meant, and nodded. Sam let out a breath. "I figured but..." he trailed off and Gabriel shrugged his shoulders, making the wings disappear. He sat down beside Sam and pulled the (forever) young human (immortal) close to him. "Sammy, I know how hard this is for you but think of what would have happened should you have not helped her."

Sam leaned into Gabriel and pressed his face to the angel's neck, breathing in a unique mixture of scents that was one of the few pleasant things left to him. "I know, I know but every time I get a vision of a soul in torment it hurts me too."

Gabriel sighed and rubbed Sam's back soothingly, "The Sight is both a gift and a curse and you gave up all hopes of normalcy upon acceptance."

"It was my choice and I stand by it. I have this ability to help other and so I have to. I just wish...it was not all so violent."

"Most souls don't pass on because of their violent deaths, it's true but there are those that linger out of love too."

Sam gave Gabriel a tight hug before sitting straight. "Yeah, but those hurt in a way almost as bad."

"Hey, Sammy." Gabriel pressed a chaste kiss to the (once)human's mouth and grinned, "I love you, does that hurt?"

Sam's answering smile was brighter then the angel had seen it in a long time, "No, not at all."

"And we'll always be together so whenever it hurts just come to me and I'll try to make it better." Gabriel promised, scooting closer and taking one of Sam's hands.

"You always make it better." Sam admitted softly and squeezed the angel's hand in return.

"Okay. Then it's settled. Just...do me a favor and stop going after the souls alone, yeah?"

"I'll try but I'm not promising anything."

"Figures but I guess I'll take what I can get."


	20. They Want You to be What They Make You

**Title:** They Want You to be What They Make You  
**Prompt:** #23: Sound  
**Pairing:**Gabriel/Sam  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** Very vague season 7  
**Warnings:** Loads of angst, allusions to self-harm  
**Word****Count:** 832  
**Summary:** _Sam__ debates __reality__ and __is__ torn__ between__ the__ devil__ in __his __head __and __the __angel __in __his __heart._  
**Notes:** Uh, yeah. Not for the faint of heart.

* * *

Sometimes(everyday) Sam believes none of it was ever real.

That the entire life he thinks remembers is a lie. That he has never had a brother he loves more then life itself. That he has never lived in a world broken by his own hand and fixed by the same. That he has never fallen in love with an angel, never saved lives and hunter monsters, never laughed in an empty field with a sweating beer in hand, never turned his back on the ones he loved, never turned around and threw away everything for those same loves, never fell in a hole that didn't end for thousand of years, never hit the dirt with skin coated in sticky, shiny blood he wasn't sure was his own, never never never.

He could go on and on and on and doubt everything he's ever thought, seen, touched, tasted, heard, _remembered_ and usually does.

He doubts and ponders and wonders and struggles for hours every day, _every__day_, and always comes back to the same question. Was it ever real? Or was the voice in his head that calls itself Lucifer right? He doesn't even know why he has a voice in his head going by the devil's name(did he really fall for thousands of years with Lucifer?) but it always says the same thing.

That this life he thinks he remembers is not real. That he will not know the truth until he takes it upon himself to end it all. Sam doesn't have to know real from fake to know exactly what the voice means. And he thinks about it, he does. He wonders what would happen if he were to follow the devil's advice.

Would he finally get his answers?

He thinks about it every day but hasn't yet tried it because every time he gets to the edge of the blade, the angel that his memories tell him he fell in love with(but that also say should be dead) appears. The sugar smelling, Grace shiny angel always stays his hand and whispers things of love and faith that coincide with what he thinks he remembers and the angel's presence always pushes away that slithery cold voice in his mind.

He hears things that sound like names he thinks he knows or maybe should know only can't be sure of but the angel never pushes. Never punishes or taunts or breaks him down just to see whether or not he can still cry.

He likes the angel more then the voice(he should, he loves the angel and hates the devil, at least that's how he thinks he remembers it) but it's getting harder. Harder to believe the angel over the mocking certainty of the doubts in his mind.

It's because of how much he likes the angel that Sam begins to believe the devil more. He remembers(is it real or not? Does it matter anymore?) what he's done, all the terrible things that lie solely on him and he knows too that because of those things he can never be blessed with something so beautiful as the angel.

He knows the difference between angel and devil and knows too that he was never anything like the former. The very same names of monster and freak and _something __to __be __hunted_ surfaces in his memory and the voice in his mind latches onto them with fingers of frozen glee. Whips them at him from all sides and it burns into him as if they were spoken aloud in the voice of the one who raised him and loved him and who he turned around and betrayed.

Eventually Sam comes to the realization that he will never know if he doesn't pick one of the directions he's being pulled to.

The angel begs him to remember, to believe, to fight: 'Don't let him win, damnit, Sammy!", and he wants to. Wants it so badly it hurts almost as much as the time he could only watch as the monster under his skin(or was that just him?) tried to murder his brother.

But the devil is closer and the things it says feel more real then the promises of something he knows he doesn't deserve and can't ever have. It prods him into action, sensing his weakness like a shark, and parades a series of snapshots from the life he thinks he remembers in front of him until he has no other choice.

He has to know the truth, for once and for all. Was he truly the dark and dirty thing his memories show or was the bright light of the angel right? He wants to believe the angel, he does but if he is to ever be worthy of the angel's offering he needs to know.

Sam picks up the blade, sets it to the thin skin of his wrist and faces the devil in his mind. He needs to know...

The angel shows up too late to stop it.


End file.
